Two Dads with Good Advice on the Three C’s

Summarized by Sam Laganaro

In an article in the February 2026 edition of Exceptional Parent Magazine, two fathers Jordan Jankus and Steve Harris, reflect on their experience as family members of adult children living in group homes supporting people with intellectual and development disabilities. The dads developed a friendship through the Special Fathers Network (“SFN”) a support group for dads of children with special needs. From their decades long journey through the support system, they have come to recognize three elements that are essential for successful residential supports: compassion, communication and collaboration.

Compassion

They define compassion— as a matter of intention—on the part of DSPs, family members and people receiving supports - to do our best to understand and have empathy for each other. “Compassion must inform all interactions between [families], DSPs and residents.”

Families need to be compassionate toward DSPs. “DSPs need compassion. They need to be seen and understood.” They’ve chosen a demanding job at pay rates that aren’t great, have workloads that are demanding and juggle so many responsibilities.

Family members face challenging realities too: “we’ve placed our most precious possession in the hands of people we don’t really know facing a future full of question marks.” DSPs need to be compassionate towards families. “Parents spend decades raising their children. They want this experience and their expertise to be acknowledged by DSPs.”

Most important of all, families and DSPs must be compassionate toward people receiving support. Each person receiving support “is a distinct person with different interests, likes and dislikes. Sometimes, the only thing they have in common with others in the home is their place of residence. The uniqueness of each person needs to be acknowledged and valued. They are not “consumers” or “clients”. They are Jessica, Andrew, Marie, Margaret, etc. They are people like us.”

Communication

“Living apart and far away from your [family] member is difficult” and leads to worrying and anxieties even with smartphones and tablets. Communication from DSPs to families is essential to alleviate those concerns and to help DSPs in their work. “That’s certainly true in emergencies….[Families] also appreciate being informed of the small, incremental, positive things in the lives of our [family member].” Communication is a two-way street and families need to communicate to DSPs too— to “let the house staff know about upcoming events and visits” without being a “helicopter parent” - be available, engaged and informed. People receiving support are an essential part of communication too—and DSPs and families should work together to help people best express themselves.

Collaboration

“Collaboration is all about teamwork. The more [families] DSPs and individuals being served see themselves as a team working together, the better. It moves everyone towards our ultimate, shared goal of helping each [person we support] enjoy a healthy and fulfilling life.” What can families do to build this spirit of collaboration? Recognize DSPs when they demonstrate compassion, communication and collaboration and advocate with lawmakers to ensure DSPs are properly compensated for the work that they do. Organizations can facilitate collaboration by providing regular opportunities for open dialog between people receiving supports, families and staff.

How have you applied the 3 C’s to your work at NHR?

Practical Tips for Families

“1. Compassion starts with respect, and that starts by knowing and using people’s names. Introduce yourself to the DSPs at your family member’s group home. Ask their names.”

“2. [Families], give a special dose of compassion to per diem [relief] DSPs, people who often walk cold into a home where they don’t know the residents (or even the other staff).”

“3. Be aware of and celebrate the realities of a diverse, multi-cultural world in today’s group homes. It can present challenges, especially in terms of communication. It can also bring new and rich appreciation for what other cultures bring to the world of disability supports.”

“4. Advocate with your lawmakers for recognition of the important work that DSPs do each day. Their work must be rewarded, both monetarily and with proper acknowledgement of their critical role in supporting some of the most vulnerable members of society.”

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